The Science of Sleeping Around

(silive)

 Like sleeping around? Don't feel bad about it, so did your parents. A study at SUNY Binghamton says that a person's likeliness to have one night stands stems from genes, namely, a gene called DRD4 which is a type of Dopamine that is only found in some people. When Dopamine is produced in the body it serves many functions, one of which is sexual gratification. DRD4 is basically Dopamine on crack, as it leads to not only casual sex, but has been linked to sex addiction, alcoholism, gambling addiction, among other fun things. It's not to say that everybody who has the DRD4 gene is a slut, but those in the study that did have it were twice as likely to have a history of sleeping around, so...

Obviously people that don't have the gene are also capable of one night stands, however, it's probably safe to say that in your group of friends you know who has a one night stand here and there, and then you know who's DRD4-ing all over town. The tests were taken from a random sampling 181 college aged students who volunteered to submit to a cheek swabbing. A combination of saliva, along with dick breath, gave researchers their answers as to who possessed the gene.

This is either a real feat in information we're learning about ourselves, or pure genius by a promiscuous scientist. If it was the latter of the two, then it's an even bigger feat for men and women of the world who are in relationships. There is now an excuse for messing around even though it probably isn't going to be the best defense.

Additionally, and perhaps more important, it shall be the end-all-be-all to one of the oldest questions around, slut or not a slut? Sure, accurate assumptions could and always have been made to this very topic but there's never been any real closure. However, using this method to test for the presence of such harlotry could lead to something that we may have never seen before. With all of the focus on DRD4, women without the gene may realize the power they possess and take advantage of the situation. We could have something special on our hands, yes, the manifestation of the "sleeper slut".

She is a clever beast, while the world is busy with cheek swabbing, happily assuming that the easy girls are now clearly marked, a hurricane is in our midst. Always kept reserved for fear of ruining her reputation, and always overlooked as a potential hook-up partner because of said reputation, the sleeper-slut will rise. Untraceable in the eyes of science, she will take respite in knowing that she is free to linger in the arms of many men, always knowing that while assumptions can be made, they can never be proven.

Is this a bad thing? Does it change anything? The answer? Definitely not, and hopefully. Sluts will still be slutty regardless of proof or not so we need not worry about them going away. Also, the evolution of the sleeper slut, if nothing else, creates a higher number of "floozies" the number of which directly correlates to the amount of fun to be had. If (x = number of whores) and (y = number of reserved girls) then the following equation is should be true (x > y = FUN).

Author's note:
You know you've fallen on hard times when you have to go to thesaurus.com to try and find other words for slut. If you want to read the article this came from go here. Not sure this is the best one to lead off with after a hiatus, but ah well.